What’s the Hurry?
Every time I hear someone say, “I can’t wait to get out of college so I can make money” or “I’m tired of college because of all the school work” I cringe. My face gets all screwed up as if they just told me that one of my close family members died. First off, I don’t know if anyone told them but statistically, most college grads won’t make enough money in their lifetimes to be happy regardless of when they start their careers. Secondly, if you’re worried about your student loans don’t be, because you will most likely be buried in debt for the majority of your life, so get used to it. For these two reasons, I can’t understand the infatuation to hurry into “the real world.” Why would anyone ever want to leave heaven? I’m sure the devil now regrets being kicked out and I sure as hell don’t want to leave. College is the single greatest invention known to mankind, ten times better than sliced bread. I’ll tell you why I never want to go to the real world. To start off, once you leave college, partying five days a week is no longer acceptable behavior. In fact it’s strongly frowned upon and if the people around you find out about your habits you are looked at as if you are a leper. However, in college if you don’t go out at least 3-4 times a week you are ridiculed and made fun of. And lets be serious, it’s so much better to start the weekend on Wednesday as opposed to Friday. Additionally, after college when you go out, it is socially unacceptable to get absolutely blackout drunk. Sure you can do it once in awhile, but if you do it every weekend people start getting worried and asking questions like “is Mike an alcoholic?” or saying “maybe it’s time we had an intervention Bob.” It is no longer a badge of honor to be the drunkest guy at the party or to split a handle with your buddy as a pre-game.
Okay, maybe you weren’t a big drinker in college, that aspect may hold no appeal to you. You can’t deny that having four day weekends, every week, is not appealing. If you plan your schedule right, you could be in class for approximately nine hours a week. NINE HOURS!!! That’s absolutely ridiculous. Do you understand how much free time you have to just hang out with friends and do what ever your heart desires? Compare this with being chained to the corporate slave ship working a minimum of 40 hours a week, if you’re lucky, or being called in on Saturday’s because your boss is a DICK. Another massive disadvantage to entering the real world is that your vacation time is significantly cut. You will generally get two weeks which might include sick days. Compare this with the glorious three months that you receive when you are in college and the unlimited personal days (Personal day- any day that you decide not to go to class for whatever personal reason you decide) that you can take whenever the need strikes you. For example, this semester I went to school four days a week and had two classes a day. On one occasion in the spring, I stepped out of my first class which started at 12:30 and went till 2:00. I was on my way to my second class when, I saw all my friends hanging out in the sun. Right there and then I decided to cancel the rest of the day to lay in the sun and bbq. You tell me that isn’t the life. In fact, the next day was also so nice I decided not to go to class. Now, I would like to say that I only did that once, but that would be a lie. So I advise everyone out there that has this convoluted belief that the real world is this amazing place, enjoy college to the fullest extent, take that extra shot, shrug off your homework for weeks at a time and skip that extra class because one day your going to be begging God, Allah and whatever deity that you can conjure up to bring you back to heaven.
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